I mean, have these pearl clutchers even seen the movie “Thirteen?” Because that would give them a whole new thing to be in a tizzy over, and you can’t cancel everything, Karen.
Author: justjaime
Cherry limeade
Shoot, now I really wanna go watch Hairspray... NO TIME, JAIME! FOCUS! YOU HAVE A RECIPE TO CREATE! “Are you gonna drink yours?” My husband, who didn’t wait for an answer before drinking mine too Don’t worry, this recipe doesn’t come with a long explanation of family history, mostly because I made it up. I … Continue reading Cherry limeade
Essential
“Hello America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I’ve come to realize you can’t have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland. It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm”
They Told me not to panic, so I did.
I immediately realized that this lady needed more than gratitude… she needed a hug. Not from me, though. Because…. You know, germs. But from someone.
Empty Bowls Monongalia
In the words of Empty Bowls Mon Executive Director Zack: "Someone's bowl in this county is always empty, and on this one occasion you did something to help alleviate hunger and can choose to do so again in the future at any time..." so lets choose to do so!
Hyperbole of Stanning
I feel like the tragically uncool mom every time there’s a new phrase on the internet I haven’t heard before. And I make a point not to use it in conversation if I don’t know what it means or where it came from, and I’m sure glad I didn’t with “Stanning” or to say I “Stan” someone.
People keep dying
“People keep dying and it makes me worry that I’m going to die.” This is an actual conversation I had with someone recently.
I’m Mad
C’mon Jaime! Her frontal lobe wasn’t formed! She didn’t have enough friends and was depressed! I don’t care.
You and I
Along the way she runs into former classmate Patton Oswalt who we are meant to pity because of his handicaps, but he winds up pitying Mavis for her alcoholism and overall pathetic lifestyle. Mavis was the popular girl in school who never really grew up but is determined to show everyone that she’s a successful writer. I mean, she gets manicures and pedicures on a regular basis, to me that means you’re an adult.
You
Am I identifying with Joe? Something to dissect with my therapist sometime.
