Hyperbole of Stanning

“What’s the 411? Whats the hot gossip? What have you guys been listening to? What are the cool jams?”… I feel like the tragically uncool mom played by Amy Poehler from Mean Girls every time there’s a new phrase on the internet I haven’t heard before. And I make a point not to use it in conversation if I don’t know what it means or where it came from, and I’m sure glad I didn’t with “Stanning” or to say I “Stan” someone.

I get it, I say LMAO when my ass is in fact still on my body. It’s Hyperbole meaning an exaggerated statement not meant to be taken literally.

At first, I thought Stan was a typo. I assumed they were trying to say, “I stand for (insert whichever celebrity said or did something cool this week)” But no, it’s intentionally “Stan” being turned into a verb.

 It took my friend C’Anna explaining that it refers to the Eminem song Stan from his third album Marshall Mathers LP. The song features Dido who sings beautifully on it, but the song itself is anything but beautiful and I’m convinced that people using this term online haven’t actually listened to the song or given any thought whatsoever to the lyrics.  If you’ve been paying attention to my previous blogs, you know that as much as I enjoy vibing out to a good tune in the car… I’m a lyrics person. Lately I’m a music video person as well, but in the case of Stan, it features Dido peeing on the toilet, so not a huge fan. But let’s take a look at what the kids online are really saying when they say that they Stan for Billie Eilish.

Starts off innocently enough. Some cold tea, daily irritations, but the picture of someone you admire on your wall reminds you that “it’s not so bad…” ok. You write letters to your favorite celebrity, because well… you’re dedicated and want to show your admiration for their work. You include your phone number and address. You inquire about why they haven’t called or written back. Then you tell them you’re going to name your first child after one of their songs where they murder their ex-spouse and dispose of the body in front of their child they have together. See how quickly that turned?

The next letter is even angrier. Mad that you weren’t acknowledged at a concert among thousands of others, mad that you don’t remember meeting me. C’mon, we’re the same! Here are some examples of how we are the same! By the way I got your name tattooed on my chest. I know my girlfriend is having my child but I think you and I should be together.

The final letter isn’t a letter at all, it’s a cassette of me doing 90 on the freeway, drunk and high on pills yelling at you about what we could have been and how all of it is your fault. What’s your fault? The fact that my pregnant girlfriend is in the trunk and I’m driving off a bridge. The end.

So that’s what one is referring to saying when they say they Stan for someone. Really? I love Chrissy Teigen but I’m not going to imply that I’d murder a loved one for her.

Sure sure, its hyperbole… but what a dark one to use.

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